Devin Pugliano

i smoked a cigarette with leonardo dicaprio at “java joes” in des moines.

avoid the “hairspray” remake.
divine was where it was at.
travolta could never fill his/her shoes.

i’ve jerked off to pictures of a few people on my friends list.

if i learn that a band (or artist) is actually a christian group, i tend to stop listening to them.
with the exception of joseph arthur.

if you don’t like black & white movies…
you shouldn’t be watching films in the first place.

if it weren’t for my outlet of writing…
i’d probably be a serial killer.
i have many of the symptoms.

i haven’t shaved my pubes in months.
tarzan couldn’t make it through that jungle.

john edward & sylvia browne are full of shit.
quit being so gullible, children.

according to “maury”…
the dna results show that i’m not her mother.

i often find myself having sex dreams about my enemies.
and i never pull out.

pussies tend to look like roast beef sandwiches turned vertical.

steelers.
ohio state.
marlins.
trailblazers.

it takes a poet to love a poet.

next time you’re in bed with your partner
and he’s (or you’re) pump, pumping away…
think of me.
you’ll probably laugh.
and then he/she’ll ask what the deal is…
but you’ll be too embarrassed to tell him/her that you were thinking of someone else.
but you won’t be able to get me out of your head.
and they’ll be left wondering why you laughed…
oh, it will bug the shit out of them to no end.
just do it…
think of me…
this is my gift for you.
let me know how it turns out.

the GAP is a joke.

kid rock has recently stated that he is ok with people illegally downloading his music.
my question to him is, who the fuck would want to download his music?

i love strolling the movie forums on here…
seeing people post comments such as “i saw _____ (such and such movie), but i’m not sure if i liked it.”
while they wait for others to reply with their opinions on said film so then they can jump on the majority bandwagon.
“well, yeah, i guess i liked it.” or…
“you’re right…it was a piece of shit once i really think about it.”

if it hadn’t of been for the holocaust…
imagine how many more myspace profiles there would be today.

elvis was horrible.
as was john wayne.
this doesn’t make me “anti-american.”
it makes me “pro-talent.”

eminem is the black marilyn manson.

there’s nothing hotter (in my book) than a big boobed brunette in a wife beater.

i wonder how many profiles here on myspace belong to people that are dead now.
“last login”
that’s for damn sure.

i’m a thigh/ass man.
just kidding…i love boobies.
and asses…
fuck it…whatever.

“make love not war.”
why?
so we can breed more terrorists…more soldiers?
sex is war

how much does a tusk sell for exactly?

i often panty raid.

suicide is far from weakness.

i prefer cats over dogs.

instead of “show me your tits”
how about we try, “show me your silverware”
mmm shiny, smooth spoons…
oh yeah…
lick the end…yeah, just the end…
are those plastic or real?

i’ve had male tongues in my mouth before.

painting my nails calms me.

what moment is more powerful?
the first time you hold hands with that “someone”
or the first time they turn and say, “fuck you”

you don’t know where i’ve been.

be patient…
she’ll be legal soon.

i’ve never learned how to swim.
nor do i know how to blow my nose.
i just pick.
check beneath your tables.

reese’s peanut butter cups taste best frozen.

why is ink always low?

i don’t listen.
i just wait for my turn to talk.

i’ve seen nude pics of most of my female friends (offline & online)…
and only three shouldn’t be embarrassed about how they look.
out of respect to them (i’m sure they won’t want their inboxes exploding) i’ll limit their names to: a, s & n

i don’t pay taxes.

my 3 favorite radiohead songs?
1. how to disappear completely
2. idioteque
3. nude

hip-hop didn’t die with 2pac…
but it definitely put it in ICU.

i never once made it cross country while playing “oregon trail.”
i either drowned or was struck by arrows.
i’m legitimately still bothered by that today.

my 3 favorite pornstars?
1. gauge
2. ariah
3. ashlynn brooke

i was never bullied in school.
but i was often pushed down, ridiculed and had things stolen from me.

maynard james keenan’s intelligence is superficial.
i wish i had learned this whilst still a teenager.
and “puscifer” only proves that he is nothing without his “tool” & “a perfect circle” backing (could be the wrong word) musicians.

i liked “maid in manhattan.”
there is still a warrant out for my arrest in NYC for that very reason.

i used to sniff pixy sticks in high school.
i thought it was cool to do.
i know…i know…
…it was.

disco is not dead.

aaron lewis is a fucking crybaby.
get on a diet, brother…
and seek some therapy.
sadly, pathetic zeroes still flock to your broken record.
ah…if you only knew the weather up here.

mormons… lol

jason once said that there are alot of koreans in korea.
deep.

to this day i can still quote both “home alone” & “home alone 2″
and i’m not ashamed of this fact.

the notorious b.i.g. was overrated.

leno’s comedy is tired.

i wonder if anyone has ever actually done “the sprain” while out in a nightclub.

graffiti would be more intimidating if i could understand it.

i want to bring back cassette players.
it’s been ages since i’ve taken a tape out and switched sides.
what sucked was that all the best songs were usually on side b.

lisa bonet would dominate me.
and i’m ok with that.

for kicks…
amish kids plug in toasters & microwaves…

“rowlf” was my favorite muppet baby

“just not in my hair.”

in jail a few years back…
my bond jumped from $7,000 to $20,000…
based solely on some writings i had done.
i am still proud of that to this day.

it’s interesting how everyone is immediately “bad in bed” once the relationship is over…
usually followed by, “bitch was a slut”
or the ever popular, “you’re bigger than he was.”

“war” returns more hits on google than “god”